.the. world .through. my .eyes.

I had to take a few deep breaths and think about the situation at work.

I was suffering in an unhealthy environment where I don’t feel the joy or need of working at this miserable place.

AND then, the thought of money kicked it. I imagined the things that I wish to own never becoming a reality.

ARGH. if only money grows on trees. 

Summer. Three months of the Sun radiating its gamma rays and three months of the people trying to get melanoma. As others like to go to the beach and show of their horrendous body figure, I figured to stay indoors and stay away from getting 10 shades blacker.

What’s digusting is the humidity. It makes you sweat, it dries then it makes you feel sticky and icky. It’s very hard to get comfortable during this season, to get cold, it’s not like you walk naked around the summer streets. Oh please, I don’t want to see bodies that have been abused by food.

The light, oh that harsh UV light. It is so bright that I can’t keep my eyes fully open. It makes my eyes more tinier and look like Brock in pokemon.

As I spread my wings, these barbed wires tighten on me. Its spikes deepen into my skin and eventually into my flesh creating these water falls of blood from my wings. The longer I stayed in, the grip of it becomes more intolerable. It becomes harder to move as the more I struggled, the pain worsen.  I can see it impaling my bruised heart. As I reach my neck out to catch a breath, I can feel the barbed wires moving on me, pulling me back to my helpless position. From the corner of my eyesight, darkness started to take over me. I was afraid.

It was the sun rising up from the horizon that woke me up. I can no longer feel the torment that the rusted wires gave me. There was a pool of blood underneath my feet but I didn’t care. The pain was gone and I was looking up at this majestic scenery.

At the end of the year, the crown (bragging rights) is given to the person who has achieve the high academic result over the year. I heard the teachers of the two class talking in which class, and most importantly, the person achieved the highest mark.

Girl X (as I don’t want to give too much away of my real life) that sits in front of me, that who I have seen as a rivalry with marks, got the highest marks in both classes. She got 93%, I got 92%. How annoying is that, 1% off from getting the sweet glory. I think I would have been better off knowing that I was way off rather than I was so close but ain’t close enough.

She deserved it anyway. I’m happy with my result, achieved what I have set for myself. Is it bad that I wanted the cherry on top?

As I rest my head against my pillow and stare at the ceiling paint dry, a part of me wishes that tomorrow will be a better day, that it will be ok.

I know I am not alone. We all go sleep and dream of a better tomorrow. There are people out there that just doesn’t dream but also make it happen. I, for one, am not a visionary as I don’t have the courage to move against fate.

When you are certain that tomorrow won’t be a better day than today, all we can do it toughen up, and pray that we will endure it and live another day so we can sleep, and dream once again.